Mentor- Mentoring.....

I finally understood how mentoring works around 2006, now don’t get me wrong I have always had people to emulate positively but didn’t have a mentor- mentee relationship with anyone; it was just me stalking people basically.

So who is a mentor?

Well a mentor “is a person who guides a less experienced person to become the person they want to be” . Growing up, I had role models, people whose habits I tried to copy, these people knew nothing about what went on in my head and all I saw was their results not the procedure they used to get those results. So that element of a personal relationship differentiates a mentor from a role model. A mentor shares their knowledge and experiences with you.

Your mentor does not make the decisions for you, they merely give you more information to help you make your decisions confidently.

Do you need a mentor?

I am a very independent person and from a very early age I was encouraged to think for myself - I was not stifled in anyway (LOVE YA IYA YARD). I knew what I wanted in all aspects of my life, I had my plans all set up, I did the hard work BUT because I had no mentor to guide me my plans were flawed. I did not discuss my plans and innermost thoughts with anyone so obviously I overlooked important details that someone else would have noticed so I woke up one day and found myself lost!

Personally, I believe you need a mentor because they’ve been there and done that- they know where most of the hidden potholes are- why wait till you fall in the hole.

Who to choose as your mentor?

Who you choose as your mentor really depends on what you want, so if you want to learn to sing better you won’t go to that aunty who thinks pitch is where those cute footballers play football. 

However, here are some factors I think are necessary:

•  Choose someone you know you can trust- someone who really knows what confidentiality means, nothing is more annoying than having random weirdos tell you inaccurate versions of your life story on the bus. (sigh*)

•  Choose someone that is very open minded- someone who wouldn’t judge or condemn you.

• Choose someone you would be comfortable discussing 'most if not all' aspects of your life with.

• Choose someone you respect- if your mentor has no authority over you, there is no point to the relationship- that is all!

I was talking about my mentors with a friend, ironically, he was worried that my mentors are males. This leads to the question- does your mentor have to be the same gender as you? The answer is: NO. (The legal department has warned me not to say more than that).

My mentors are very private people and though I’d have LOVED to tell you more about them I have to respect their privacy and I don’t want any one kidnapping and torturing them for my secrets. I’ll say this though I appreciate you: Rockbeater, Rockthrower; not forgetting Mr Vegan and HOD.

  "Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be." Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring