Anger...?

 

To react or not to react

 

Someone asked me about how to know when to show anger or hide it….

 

The first time I understood the importance of knowing when to react when angry was in secondary school. There was this very short boy. He was a terror in our form class. He was very aggressive, and everyone was scared of him. I had just moved to the UK, so he thought I was fresh meat. For weeks, he was subtly bullying me, and I was letting him. I was hiding my irritation and anger. I kept ignoring him but one day (I saw red- ti ile mama mi jeun lori mi), I just turned on him as he was doing his stupidness again, like, ‘are you mad?’, I pushed him… My guy fell! Come see shocked faces! He got up and wanted to fight but I didn’t back down. The teacher that had been ignoring us finally took interest- she pulled us apart and sent us to the deputy headteacher’s office!

 

It was totally the right reaction! Because of that one little moment of madness- till I left that secondary school no one tried any silliness with me! 

 

You know the funny thing, I became friends with the boy, even as we waited outside the office! We were talking and laughing like old friends- so the deputy headteacher just gave us a stern warning and let us go.

 

People act like anger is a bad thing- it isn’t! It’s actually one of the most important emotions we have. The trick is managing it well and not over-reacting as we often do!

 

It’s NEVER a good thing to suppress one’s anger! That’s what we do when we get angry and keep quiet- we’re merely suppressing it. I’ve been in and out of depression for over 13 years because I’ve always suppressed my anger instead of dealing with it…lol! I thought I was good at dealing with it… the warning sign that I wasn’t managing well should have been the day I found myself in my kitchen with plates and I was calmly breaking them one by one. Just standing there, picking up a plate and dropping it. When I finished with those, I got a pot and slammed it on the tabletop until the pot got dented! 

 

When you keep quiet, it builds up the anger and one day everything will explode, then the probability of losing total control and overreacting is certain!

 

 So how?

• 1)    Separate your emotion from your action- take a step back and feel the emotion before you take action on it, basically let the anger subside.

 

• 2)    Identify why you’re angry! Ask yourself why am I actually angry? 

 

• 3)    Deal with the issue; that could mean calling the other person and just talking through it with them.

 

Anger tells us we need to take action to put something right. It gives us strength and energy and motivates us to act. So, don’t ignore your anger, long-term, unresolved anger is linked to health conditions such as high blood pressure, depression, anxiety and heart disease.